Day 7: Translate

A newspaper with some peculiar headlines

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This puzzle was created for EnigMarch, which challenges constructors to build a puzzle every day in March, based on single-word prompts. For more background, visit enigmarch.com.
Day 7: Translate

Plain text

I've gone to some lengths to understand these headlines. I wish I could count on the translation.

  • TiVO bought by k.d. lang
  • Spool reveals “Hedda Gabler” film
  • Ingot of gold is “off the chain”
  • Sly monster fights Han Solo
  • Mocha cafe suing customer
  • Steeds ruin small girl's tuffet
  • Santa’s toys are all fake!
  • Our recipe for mini yuzu cupcakes
  • Udon shown to clear up zits
  • First step: buy an opal
  • Become a GIF pro!
  • What did that adorable little pup do?

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