My So-Called Friends


My friends are from all over the world, and whenever they speak, they always slip in a word from their native tongue. Today they decided to play the game Two Truths and a Lie. To make it more fun, each friend spoke their own lie, but two other friends’ truths. What a group of weirdos — they’re always hiding something!

What would be a good name for our friend group?

Plain text

Friends

Stu Nordelli
Armando Sanchez
Marcin Quiron
Bernstein Schmidt
Iffy Rasmussen
Traci N. Coelho
Nadje Denilowicz

Claims

I ride a bronco with the name Waldo Schmaldo.
At a hotel, I produce niacin quite a bit faster than most.
I run a yard sale on my front lawn every weekend.
I domesticated and potty trained, um, a jaguar. (Shhh.)
On my mantel are awards from 3 different wars.
When I attended West Parsec HS, they named a noodle after me.
I had a doppelgänger friend me on Facebook, post a GIF, unfriend me, and then disappear.
I attend every do-or-die Cinnabon extravaganza.
I can be very tentative when deciding what to eat at a restaurant.
My femoral artery can get up to 44° Celsius.
I’m an excellent gift giver.
Nine UFO creatures converted me to liberalism.
I live in a barn down by the river.
I was named the Kumquat Troubadour by the Glenbrook Gazette.
My wife and I play footsie, demurely, at Intelligentsia coffee shop.
I created superhero Captain Florida and her sidekick Rose Isthmus.
Me and my cousin Jed encased a kielbasa in bread and invented the Korndog®.
I am allergic to any pasta that ends in an “I”.
I have a life membership in the Aquavit Fan Club.
I know how to bark in 77 languages.
I can’t catch any disease tendered by a mosquito.

Updates / Errata

  • On August 8, 6:15 PM CT, I slightly adjusted two names and two sentences.

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